The rules of fasting and abstinence for Catholics in America are minimal. Coming into the church in 2007, the modern rules were all I knew of it. Years later as I really began to dig into the faith, I became aware that the traditions were once quite different.

The more I learned, the more I found myself wondering what is “right.” Not being bound to follow stricter rules of observance, my family and I had to discern what level of involvement God was calling us to. On the one hand, my heart felt as though it should be able to follow a much stricter observance, and on the other, my body rejected this notion. My will was not up to the task of what I long to do.

Today, we are still discerning what is right for our family. It may change over the time and during the different seasons of life, and I’m finally coming to accept that reality. I recently finished reading a book on fasting and abstinence, and that was followed up with a meeting with my spiritual director, and I finally feel as though I have a healthy understanding of this topic.

To better understand the various traditions in different rites and cultures, to see that different ways of life can call for more or less of these things, and even to come to understand the realities of what fasting and abstinence look like in places like a monastery have been incredibly helpful. It’s easy to gain the perception that our religious brethren and sisters practice these things perfectly, while we, the laity, struggle to do so. Of course, their way of life calls for a different level of participation, but they are not immune to the struggles we face. They, too, need to ease into things. They fail at times. They have exemptions and exceptions to the rule for reasons such as health.

I often find myself thinking that people did something perfectly; because they were a model to follow (they have set an example) that they have done it perfectly, without failing. Yet that simply isn’t true. The model is what we strive for, but then there is reality. There was the year that I fasted very well (by God’s grace) while participating in the Magnify 90 program. And then there are the years since, in which I could not maintain that kind of participation, even though it’s good, and what I’d like to be doing.

Throughout this Lenten season, I grappled a lot with my brokenness and weakness. A lesson I surely didn’t want to have, but was necessary for growth in humility, and vital to grow in dependence on God. It made me keenly aware of my need for Jesus and His resurrection.

Our family began our celebration of the Resurrection this year with Divine Liturgy at the local monastery, followed immediately with a feast amongst friends, and it really helped to highlight the importance of both fasting and feasting. As we went on to celebrate throughout the rest of the day with more feasting with family, I was no longer tempted by the food that was just days before prohibited (by choice or rule). Christ makes what was once impossible possible. In dying, he destroyed death. In conquering temptation, he destroyed its power. I don’t have that power- but Jesus does.

As I continue to shape our plans for the growing season and shape our family’s participation in the liturgical year, I will be carrying this new-found understanding and appreciation with me. Though we are still celebrating Easter, in a few days, we will be observing the Major Rogation Day on St. Mark’s Day (April 25th), a day of abstinence. This year, it falls during the octave of Easter, in which every day is a solemnity, meaning we do not have to abstain from meat for this particular Friday and Rogation Day. But before we know it, the Minor Rogation Days will be upon us, at which time we will need to have a more firm understanding of our own familial participation in this historical tradition.

But today we continue to feast and celebrate. Easter baskets are being emptied, and a nice pork roast will be cooked up for the family dinner today. The kids are flying kites and still shouting “Christ is risen”, waiting for a response of “Indeed He is risen!” from somebody else in the house.

For the repose of the soul of Pope Francis, we pray: “Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let your perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed rest in peace.”

In Christ- Danielle